ALL AT SEA
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Take a look through the peephole and find something familiar about the delivery guy, some familiar essence untouched by the fish-eye effect of the lens— the way it flares his nostrils and stretches his ears to the antipodes. And look, I brought you something. Is that how he sees you? Crazy Maggie? Maggie, the crazy bag lady? He could feel it now, what must have been there all along, this cosmic connection between the two of you, a gene-deep imperative like the one that drives those little birds to make their nests together and pair up for life.
Know that whatever happens, you must not give yourself over to his unhinged energy. Show signs of improvement. Ask if he remembers all that talk at McLean about setting appropriate boundaries. I mean it. On the front stoop, he asks if he can call you tomorrow, or maybe in a couple of days? Set all the locks and watch from behind the blinds as the twin beams of his headlights sweep across your door and into the street.
Brush your teeth and get ready for bed. Well, at least until a plague or some other crisis came along, at which point the townsfolk would march the pharmakoi pharmakeus? Turn out the bathroom light, resolving to go online in the morning and sort out the mix-up. Thursday, offered up holy hecatombs to the never-dying gods and prayed aloud for a position as an adhesives company sales representative. The little penguin Roxy, it says on her tag still sits on your coffee table, accusing you with her shiny, black-button eyes. Unlock your phone and find the Wikipedia entry for fairy penguins.
The page is full of useful information, some of which must be true. The birds are nocturnal, it says, and have a wide range of calls. Though not endangered exactly, they have a surfeit of natural enemies: sharks, seals, gulls, weasels, feral cats, oil spills, bottle packaging.
Imagine the game of Clue, Fairy Penguin Edition: Roxy the penguin, strangled in the bathtub by the weasel with the ring from a Coors twelve pack. List your natural enemies: insomnia, self-doubt, phone calls from your mother, your immune system, boys with cruel eyes. Click through to the marine conservation chart and decide that you are a G3: globally vulnerable and at high risk of extinction in the wild.
Feel strangely comforted; you are no longer alone, but part of a tribe, your fate linked to that of the Mississippi pigtoe, the old prairie crawfish, the frecklebelly madtom.
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Wonder why you agreed to the date in the first place. Nothing to get worked up about. Arrive late and find Zach already seated at the bar. Take a moment to enjoy being unobserved, the one who gets to look. He is wearing a car coat from the seventies, saddle-brown leather with too-short sleeves that ride up to reveal wrists ringed with freckles. Become aware of an immediate hatred for her.
Direct your attention to the long mirror behind the shelf of liquor bottles. Your face is still youthful—or, at least, not yet old—your skin tanned to a pale fawn from days given over to aimless strolls around the city. Your eyes, though, they seem duller and deeper-set than you remember, the skin below them blue-blotched and creased. One of your lids, the left one, seems to be drooping. A pretty face given all that, but expressionless, like a late-night cashier at a grocery store. Wonder when it was exactly that you started looking so hapless, so tired.
Zach glances over his shoulder, then vaults off his stool. He calls your name and hugs you for much longer than is proper. His arms are stronger than you remember, and after three seconds the first tingle of panic shimmers down your spine. A moment later, the feeling changes again, to something like relief, the taut cords of muscles finally warming and untwining.
He has a fresh bruise on his cheek, just below his left eye. Remember two years ago, braced against an oak tree, touching that face in the light of a quarter moon. Experience a fresh surge of tenderness. Follow him to the dark-stained bench and squeeze in behind a table. As the waitress takes your order, trace your fingers over the pair of initials scored into the wood, the rough-hewn heart enclosing them.
Take sips from your stout and catch him up on the last two years. Your health has been good, and it looks like it might stay that way, at least for as long as you can keep paying for the drugs. The anxiety, too, has been mostly under control, despite a week last summer when it was just too frightening to leave the house, to take a shower, or to answer your phone. You lost your job at the deli after that, and then your favorite cousin—the one you told him about at McLean—well, he went alone into the woods one morning and shot himself.
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Take this opportunity to affirm that, despite evidence to the contrary, you are not prone to public weeping these days, nothing like before. He takes everything in, seemingly without judgment, his eyes never leaving your face.
The meaning and origin of the expression: All at sea
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All At Sea 9.
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Most popular facilities Free WiFi. Lock in a great price for your upcoming stay Get instant confirmation with FREE cancellation on most rooms! Availability We Price Match. When would you like to stay at All At Sea? Reservations longer than 30 nights are not possible. Enter your dates to check availability. Your departure date is invalid. Check-in date. Check-out date. Bungalow with Sea View 1 queen bed.
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